Never trust anyone over 30.

I'm bored enough that I thought this might be fun. Here are the first words that come to mind (with brief explanations for the ones that aren't adjectives):

Art - I make several different types of art. I write, paint, make films, act, and I'm starting to write music as well. Different artistic pursuits seem to be a pretty big part of my life.
Badger - As in "The Rabid Badger Theatre Company." Enough said, I think.;)
Cynical
Determined
Eliara - My favorite D&D character to run. She's an alter-ego of sorts.
Fastidious
Grateful - My life has turned out to be pretty nice. I'm very thankful for what I have.
Hellbound - I'm bound to pay sometime for a life as sweet as mine.;)
Inquisitive
Journalism - One of my interests and academic pursuits.
Karma - I'm a big believer in it.
Libertarian
Morrissey - As in, I'm totally in love with Morrissey. Seriously, I would bear a child for him if he wished it. Such is the depth of my devotion.
Nerd - I am one. I'm not afraid to admit it.
Outcast
Passionate
Questioning
Resilient
Strong
Tortured - I'm often disturbed when I consider the state of the world.
Unusual
Vigorous
Weird
X - I can't think of anything for this one. It's X, after all.:)
Youthful
Zany

Here's some of the stuff I've done so far... for all of you who aren't on Facebook.

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=165661&l=212c1&id=651140194

Here's who I'm voting for, and why on my political blog:

http://theaffairsofapes.blogspot.com/2008/10/my-vote-this-year.html

What the hell do The Beatles have to do with Susan Atkins?

Legend has it that Uncle Charlie interpreted the White Album in some weird ways, and thought that "Sexy Sadie" was about Susan Atkins (they called her "Sadie Mae Glutz" in the Family).

Susan Atkins is currently dying of cancer in prison. She's apparently trying to get released, so that she can die at home, amongst her family, but they won't let her out of prison. She's sick as hell and in a wheelchair, and I've read that she's practically a vegetable at this point, but they still won't even consider it. I feel kind of sorry for her.

You're damn right I do! *hearts and girlish swoons*

http://badgerherald.com/news/2008/10/09/student_groups_chall.php

Look at me, I'm in the media!

I wouldn't say that the protester they described 'screamed out' his question. He just asked loudly. We were kind of impatient to get some answers, and you can only listen to their pandering crap for so long.

We were called 'hippies' by some uptight jerk in a suit and kindly informed "you're not that special," by one of the panel members as well. All in all, an interesting experience.

I heard this song about Al Gore and the 2000 election today, and it's stuck in my head now. It was written by one of his neighbors.

http://www.cartoonbank.com/newyorker/slideshows/040913algore.html

I voted for Gore in 2000, but I kind of regret it, because I only did it because I thought Gore was the lesser of two evils. I should have just voted for Ralph baby. *hearts*

Anyway, it's a pretty good song, but very catchy.

A couple of weeks ago, a friend on Facebook sent me a link (http://suicidegirls.com) and told me that I should apply because I'd be, as he put it, "a shoe-in." I've been thinking about it (albeit sporadically) ever since.

I visited the site, because I only had a vague idea of what it was before I received the link. I read the requirements, fine print, etc. of the application process. And, as previously stated, I've been thinking of it since then.

Firstly, I'm flattered that someone thinks I'm attractive enough to be on this type of website. Plus, I could get paid for doing it. It would certainly grant me some exposure, and performer/artist types like me need to do things to generate publicity for themselves. Plus, it would give me a chance to do something visually artistic that isn't video, and I haven't done that in a while.

The main reservations I have about doing it are mostly internal and trivial, and many of them revolve around having to be naked. Firstly, I'm not entirely sure I'm comfortable enough with my body to pose for photographs - especially ones of this sort. I'm the type who got called "ugly" a lot (I mean a LOT; however, I was what you'd call an "awkward" child) when I was younger; consequentially, I didn't grow up with a positive view of my appearance. Over time, though, I've accepted that my appearance, while nothing exceptional, certainly isn't hideous - a fact I especially can't deny considering I'm currently in a relationship with two people. But, I still have trouble perceiving myself as an object of desire. It makes me feel funny inside, in a way I don't like, and can't adequately explain.

My other issues with nudity are strictly byproducts of my Catholic upbringing. I was heavily indoctrinated into their thinking (my friend Brandie summarizes it very well, and I'll paraphrase here: "People don't understand; when you're raised Catholic, it's like it's a part of you forever.") and as such, wrestle with various psychological maladies such as irrational guilt, difficulty expressing my sexuality, various gender issues and fear of Almighty God's Divine Wrath. I'm not a Catholic any more; I'm not even a Christian (although I do have admiration for the historical figure of Christ. Most of the stuff he said is really enlightened and wise), but I still have the internal wiring of a Catholic. It's been a long process to undo.

I'm not so concerned about being naked on the Internet, or what people think about that. The site is tasteful, and I would have full control over the images I submit to them. I don't think any of my friends would really care or judge me about it, and anyone else's opinions are utterly irrelevant to me. So, when I remove the irrational Catholic stuff from the equation, I can't think of many reasons not to apply, except for my hang-ups about my appearance, which diminish a little every day - especially when this eating healthy-exercising regularly-being happy lifestyle I've been doing lately seems to agree with me, physically.

So, I'm thinking I might do it in a few months, after I do some more work (internally and externally) on myself. I can't think of a good reason not to... but maybe you all can. ;)

Episode 16 is finally done... now I can take note of the world beyond my monitor.

The Isthmus has gotten a few follow-up letters to the editor about MadTown Promotions. I've posted the link to one of them here:

http://www.thedailypage.com/isthmus/article.php?article=23149

Without too much digging, I also found these:

http://www.ripoffreport.com/reports/0/342/RipOff0342825.htm
http://community.livejournal.com/madisonwi/1278594.html

I'd say Will made a sound choice by working for these people. I hope he's pleased with himself. He should be making 6 figures by now.

I'm so happy to know Jim. He's wonderful!

For those of you who read about the Saga Concerning Will a few months back, here's an interesting postscript:

http://www.thedailypage.com/isthmus/article.php?article=23029

It's an article published by the Isthmus about Will's prestigious employers. When I read this a few weeks back, I did the "I told you so" dance for about a minute. I couldn't help it.

I'll admit I've wondered if he's seen the article and what he thinks about it/would say about it.

So, I'm sitting here killing time (so to speak) waiting to go to work. I'm really dreading it, because it's Maxwell Street Days.

I've managed to avoid this massively distasteful orgy of consumerism since I've lived in Madison, but am unfortunately unable to do so this year, because my retail drone day job is in the veritable thick of the bedlam. All the store's employees are required to work, and I've already heard tales of the throngs of shoppers willingly herding themselves through State Street, stopping only at the streetside displays to graze upon the fields of sale-products.

As much as I'm enjoying my elitist metaphors, I'm NOT enjoying the thought of being in the midst of all this hullabaloo.... and in a position of service to the demanding throngs. My job is tolerable most of the time - more than tolerable, actually, thanks largely in part to the people with whom I work. They are all very amiable and it makes dealing with the mundane tasks and rude customers that accompany a retail position much more bearable; however, this is one of these days where my internal monologue simply repeats, "You have three degrees. What the hell are you doing with your life?" over and over again, interspersed with, "You're getting older and you don't have much time. Shouldn't you be having a 'career' or something?"

Eh, I'll get over it. Most of the time my life rules, so I can't complain. I just have to get through today and tomorrow without assaulting anyone. In the meantime, gotta go to work! ;)

Instructions: Go to your music player of choice and put it on shuffle. Say the following questions aloud, and press play. Use the song title as the answer to the question. NO CHEATING.

How does the world see you?
July! July! | The Decemberists

Will I have a happy life?
Tropicalia | Beck

What do my friends really think of me?
Rainy Day, Dream Away | Jimi Hendrix

What do people secretly think of me?
Sister I'm a Poet | Colin Meloy

How can I be happy?
We Both Go Down Together | The Decemberists

What should I do with my life?
Death of a Disco Dancer | The Smiths

Will I ever have children?
Boy Named Sue | Johnny Cash

What is some good advice for me?
Nine Ball | Bobby BeauSoleil

How will I be remembered?
Red Right Ankle | The Decemberists

What is my signature dancing song?
Folsom Prison Blues | Johnny Cash

What do I think my current theme song is?
Paul Bonneau - Extase | Luke Vibert

What does everyone else think my current theme song is?
Time's A Wastin' | Johnny Cash & June Carter

What song will play at my funeral?
Rockin' the Suburbs | Ben Folds (with William Shatner)

What type of people do you like?
2 + 2 = 5 (The Lukewarm) | Radiohead

What is my day going to be like?
Has Been | William Shatner

... heh.

Is less than a block from my new house.

I'm currently printing DVD's so I'm spending lots of time in front of the computer, waiting and staring at the screen. So, I figured I may as well continue the saga with Will.

When we last tuned in, it was universally decided that Will was to move out. Will also apparently decided to quit Rabid Badger on his own before that, because he stopped coming to meetings even though Erick was still informing him about said meetings and conducting business as usual. So, it was apparent to us (though it was never actually discussed, at least to my knowledge) that Will had decided to quit Rabid Badger (the theory was further reinforced when everyone else in the group told us that Will had called them and told them he was moving to Nebraska).

Shortly after the talk Will and Erick had (I think it was the next day, I'm not sure) I arrived home after a particularly irritating day at work to discover that, to my consternation, not only was Will home, but that he intended to invite Giggly McStupid (I really never bothered to learn/remember the vapid sorority-chick's name) over to our house. I knew from past experience that this meant that, no matter where I was in the house, I would be subjected to her vapid chatter/incessant giggling (as I've previously mentioned, she's a charming combination of loud AND annoying) and listening to Will's television blaring all night (he watched television very loudly as well). I was very irritated by this prospect, and made no secret of it. I'll also admit that, due to the shitty day I'd had, I was being very blunt and inflammatory.

Will heard some of the things I was saying and came out of his room. He motioned to Erick, to pull him aside and talk to him rather than deal with me directly (at least, that's what I assume). This prompted me to interrupt the exchange to tell Will that if he has a problem with me, he should have the balls to take it up with me, and not force Erick to mediate between us. The situation quickly degenerated into a pointless shouting match that Erick inevitably got dragged into.

Will ended up leaving after I told him, "You're a scumbag and I can't wait until you're out of my house." I won't deny that I derived a large matter of satisfaction out of saying this to him.

Erick and I didn't see Will at all the next week, except twice - on nights that we were coincidentally having Rabid Badger meetings, on which occasions he made a point to personally greet and talk to everyone else in the room except us, which incidentally also disrupted the meeting. Erick and I have since learned that he's been telling everyone who will listen that we "ran him out" of Rabid Badger.

The following Saturday, Will showed up unexpectedly to take back the props he had donated to Rabid Badger. These were things that he got from UW-Platteville - old props the theatre department was going to throw away - and he had given them to us years ago, well before we even offered him a position in the group. When he initially gave them to us, he made it sound like he was just helping us out because he was our friend and that's just the kind of nice guy he is. In retrospect, I'm really amused by the irony.

The next day, Will showed up with his mother, aunt and cousin to move his stuff out. I was at work, and so only heard about it from Erick.

Firstly, everyone except Will's cousin (to his credit) was very rude to Erick. In particular, neither Will nor his mother would speak to or even really acknowledge Erick. Erick told me that he had actually tried at one point to say goodbye to Will, and Will refused to speak to him.

In addition, they trashed the house. There was mud tracked all over the living room carpet, the carpet in the office, and the carpet in Will's room. The walls in Will's room are dirty, and he left large holes in the wall as well. (He didn't pay on the security deposit, either. He couldn't afford to.) One of them knocked around Joy's art supplies and stepped on her pastels, wrecking them and staining the carpet. He left things behind that he didn't want to take piled in the kitchen by the trash can, which we obviously had to clean up as well.

We haven't heard from him since, other than when he left a message for Erick saying he's changed his mailing address. My guess is he's sponging off of his relatives, now - they are familially obligated to put up with his bullshit - until he moves to Nebraska for the scam job that doesn't pay him a real wage.

On the plus side, we're much happier and things are vastly more peaceful and generally less irritating now that he's gone - and Joy and I have to do a lot less housework. And, we have a nice new art studio where his room used to be. ;)

Will's unreasonable response to Erick's attempt to civilly air our grievances with him (and the things he said about Erick afterward) infuriated me. When I discovered that he had forgotten to lock the house when he left for work while the rest of us were asleep upstairs (again), I lost it. I called him and angrily confronted him about locking the door. He responded by asking what our problem was with him. When I attempted to explain, he interrupted me confrontationally. I screamed at him and hung up, thoroughly enraged.

I then proceeded to write a letter to him expressing the problems I had with him. I had to prematurely end the letter, because I had to go to work that day; in spite of this, the letter was four pages long when I printed it. I tried to be as civil as possible, though it was quite difficult for me considering how angered I was by his conduct. I'll admit, I did get a little mean, but I tried to confine it to the section of the letter in which I described how stupid I thought he was. I then slipped it under his door, and sent him a text message letting him know it was there.

Later that night, I taped an additional note to his door when I became aware of another instance in which one of us had to clean up after one of his guests. To my utter disgust and vexation, Joy told me that twice over the course of the previous week, she discovered and subsequently had to clean up menstrual blood in our bathroom that was "left" there by this girl Will's trying to get on and was over here constantly as a result. Her presence greatly annoyed the rest of us, because she's a vacuous sorority-chick type - loud and irritating, reeking of cheap perfume and hopelessly incapable of producing an intelligent, original thought. All of us (Erick, Joy and I, that is) instantly disliked her. (Of course, Will was completely oblivious to this.)

Joy practically begged me to let the issue go, and not to give him a note about it; she said that it was embarrassing and mean. It may well have been, but thinking of my girlfriend having to clean some random stranger's blood from our bathroom - twice - because said stranger can't/won't practice basic feminine hygiene - - I frankly didn't care how mean or embarrassing it was.

Will didn't appreciate my efforts to enlighten him, unsurprisingly.

I came downstairs the next morning to discover a badly punctuated and greivously misspelled note scrawled for me on the white board in our kitchen, calling my letter "the most ignorant thing I've ever read" and criticizing my use of the word "stupid" in the letter. I was also called "childish" for leaving "little hate notes around the house." However, he did leave a rent check on the table - the ONLY time he ever paid rent on time - and even included some extra money for utilities (it STILL wasn't enough to cover his share). I'm guessing I wounded his pride and he needed to prove a point or something. Too little, too late, in my opinion.

I exchanged a couple of text messages with him, but quit after I rapidly learned that Will wasn't going to do anything but insult me and attempt to goad me into fighting with him.

Will didn't come around for a couple of days after that, but he agree to meet Erick to talk about the problem, finally. Erick gave me a recap of the conversation, which lasted a couple of hours.

Apparently, according to Will, I just can't deal with him because he's an optimist, and I don't like optimism. Also, Erick and I are "pretentious," "judgemental," "shallow" and "elitist" and that's why we don't get along. He spent the majority of the conversation alternating between saying negative things about me and trying to convince Erick that he's not stupid and he has excellent comedic timing.

The only constructive result of the dialogue was that it was universally agreed that Will should move out.

Hang on to your seats, Ladies and Gentlemen, for this show ain't over!

Erick and I weren't really surprised at Will's inability to pay rent on time, and we had prepared for it, but it still irritated us a bit, because we weren't really asking him for that much - less than his share, really. And, despite what he promised us before we got the house, he seemed utterly incapable of meeting any adult responsibility.

What irritated us further was the attitude of entitlement that Will seemed to exhibit and his tendency to become rabidly, irrationally defensive and rapidly lose his temper when challenged in any way. For example, in December, Will predictably told us he'd be late with the rent by a week. The week came and went, and there still was no rent money. He then told me he'd give us "something" in a few days. A few days came and went, and there was still no money. Erick and I were starting to become a little worried at this point, because our monthly costs had increased (due partially to high heating/electric bills Will was benefiting from yet not contributing to, partially due to the holiday season) and we were really stretched to our limit. When we attempted to ask him when he thought he might be able to give us some money, he immediately flew into a rage, stormed out of the room and wouldn't speak to us for the rest of the night. Mind you, we didn't actually ask for money right then, we merely asked WHEN he thought he might be able to pay us, because we needed to budget the rest of our month.

In the meantime, Will had quit his slightly shady job for an even shadier one that consists of selling trinkets and cheap shit outside Wal-Mart. I had interviewed at this same place before (MadTown Promotions), after I graduated from UW-Platteville. It was shady as hell, and I decided I wasn't interested after they told me that, to be considered for employment, I'd have to work an entire day FOR FREE, "just to see" if I "fit in." I told Will the place could be a scam, and that he should be careful. In response, he got mad at me, and didn't speak to me for the better part of a week.

This job he's working doesn't even pay him an hourly wage. He gets commissions from the shit he peddles, and that's his pay. (It operates on some kind of fucked-up pyramid scheme thing. I had thought those sorts of set-ups were illegal.) He works 6 days a week, for about 10 hours a day, and spends a couple more hours driving to and from his 'events' (i.e. various Wal-Mart, Target, and Pamida parking lots scattered throughout WI). He pays for the travel costs out of his own pocket. Once he gets there, he stands outside in the elements all day. In return, he gets paid less than minimum wage, most of which he spends on gasoline for his car.

As if Will's lackluster financial decision-making skills and inability to support himself wasn't bad enough, he rarely (if ever) would clean up after himself around the house. He would make himself meals and leave a sink full of dirty dishes that we would inevitably end up cleaning up. He constantly was leaving dirty cups all over the living room area. He would get things out and not put them back. When he brought his friends over, he wouldn't clean up after them, either. He didn't contribute in any way to performing the communal household tasks, except shoveling the front walk one time, at the beginning of winter. After he went hunting in October, he brought his blood-stained sneakers home and left them, untouched, in the entryway for weeks until I finally picked them up and threw them in front of his bedroom door. (We found them sitting by the trashcan in the kitchen after he moved out.) We rapidly grew tired of cleaning up after him, and it was impossible to talk to him about it, because he would immediately become defensive and deny responsibility for any mess that he left.

He also was very careless about home security, often neglecting to lock the house up securely when he left. He would deny responsibility for this, too. (Speaking of home security, there's also the time he brought one of his "friends" from work home - a methadone junkie who was trying to get a fix. The guy was obviously casing our house and spent an uncomfortably long time begging Will and me for money repeatedly before he finally left - but that's another story for another time.)

Once he got his new job, he would talk about nothing else. That's not really much of a surprise, considering how much it consumed all of his time. But, it was annoying for us to listen to, especially since we all thought he was a schmuck for continuing to work there.

Additionally, he was very wasteful with household resources. He constantly was leaving electronic shit on (like running his TV all the time, whether or not he was actually watching it), which irritated us because we were paying the electric bill and he wasn't paying any share of it at all. He would come home from his job and want to turn the heat up because he was cold from standing outside at his shit job all day - and, of course, he wasn't paying any of the heat bill, either.

We eventually came to the point where we stopped trying to say anything to him, because we simply didn't feel like dealing with the dramatic outbursts/flurry of excuses which would inevitably occur whenever we would approach him about something he was/wasn't doing around the house that proved to be inconvenient/unsafe for the rest of us living here. It wasn't the wisest course of action, because our irritation grew and grew.

Erick told me once that he was beginning to get the impression that Will believed we were obligated to help him - like we owed it to him somehow to take care of him because we were doing better than him financially. This understandably irritated him, and me.

Anyway, a couple weeks ago things came to a head. Erick had a talk with Will, and attempted to air our grievances with him. I don't know exactly what was said, but I know how Erick deals with people, and I have full confidence that Erick stated everything in the nicest possible way. I only heard Will muttering angrily to himself as he came down the stairs from Erick's room, something about Erick being shallow. Will then refused to speak to us.

We found out the next day (from our other friends) that his immediate response to Erick's talk was to call everyone else in Rabid Badger and tell them that we were angry at him and he didn't know why (other than Erick and I are shallow, judgemental and elitist), that we were running him out of the group (which was NEVER mentioned by either of us) and he was moving to Nebraska.

To be continued... when I'm not so irritated thinking about this.

Yeah, so I ripped off Beethoven's dying words... but it seemed appropriate, somehow, when I was trying to think of a title for this post.

Most everyone who knows me, knows about most of the current drama involving Will. It's pretty much over now, but I'm still pretty pissed about how it all went down... and I'm extremely disappointed about the whole thing, and kind of mad at myself... but, enough about that.

As most everyone knows, Will had been living with us since last summer, pretty much. Erick and I thought we knew him pretty well, he seemed to have goals that were compatible with ours, and he was a part of Rabid Badger, like us - and we both had a lot of affection for him. He had been having trouble paying his commuting costs (he was living with his mother outside of Sauk City and driving to work in Madison every day), and we knew he wasn't happy living there, as he seemed to conflict often with his soon-to-be stepfather. Erick and I decided that, since we were in the position to do so, we'd let him stay with us so that he could save money, and get out of a potentially toxic situation with his step-parent to be. We never asked him for any money; and, he couldn't have afforded to pay much anyway, since he literally didn't have enough money to eat at the time. (We learned over time that he's not all that good at handling money or making financial decisions - but more on that later.)

We rented a house in August. Before we decided to do so, we had a talk with Will, where we asked him about his ability to contribute to household expenses. We (that is, all of us) agreed that he would pay slightly less than 1/4 of the rent (since that was all he could afford at the time), and we'd pick up the rest, with the understanding that he would contribute a bit more to utility costs, etc. when he was able. We (Erick and I, that is) were happy that we were doing well enough to be able to help a friend out when he was in need. In addition, I spent a considerable amount of time designing/editing Will's resume for him, helping him fill out job applications, and looking for a better-paying job for him. It irritated me at times how much he seemed to need my help, and how he expected me to just drop everything I was doing and help him every time some little issue came up, but I helped him anyway. He was really trying to better himself, and I acknowledged that.

He quit a temp job that had offered him a permanent position to take a job that paid only sightly more than minimum wage, because it was one of those "Earn up to $20/hour!" scam businesses, and he got swept away by the $20 figure and assumed that's what he'd be making. He became irritated with me when I pointed out that this might be a scam and he should be careful.

It shouldn't come as a surprise to the readers that he was late paying his first month's rent.

Not only was he late paying his first month's rent, but he was late paying rent for every month thereafter for as long as he lived with us, except once. (More on that later.) Thus, the myriad of problems began...

To be continued, whether you want it or not!